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...Oi, you alright?

[ He's... kind of concerned even if he hasn't seen her after all those things that happened in there.

SURE HE JUST GOT KILLED AND TURNED INVISIBLE but it definitely beats being brainwashed and all. ]

[By the forth day after returning from capture, Estelle's gotten a little more control of herself. It's enough at least that she feels absolutely awful about everything that's happened. Killing Kirito with her own hands, the things she said to people once she arrived back in Haven West... It's enough to make her want to throw up, to be honest, she's never been so disgusted with herself.

Which is why for the last hour or so, she'd been doing nothing but stare at her device. She needed to apologize to Kirito. There weren't enough apologies in the world to make up for what she did, but she still needs to do it. So when it turns out that he calls her first, and that he's asking her how she's doing—]

How—how can you even say that?! I was the one who murdered you, I killed you in cold blood! I should... I should be asking you if you're alright!

[ ...Definitely not... alright. From the way she's screaming at him though it's pretty clear that the act got to her more than it did him. Brainwashing is kind of a common thing in the horror genre, so it was less of a surprise for him than it was for her...

Still, way to make him feel a bit guilty, Estelle. ]

It's not your fault, alright? We were just victims of... unfortunate circumstances.

[ It's Kite's. Well, generally it's her fault for slamming him with that fire spell, but Kite's the one that ordered her to kill him, after all. ]

[look man she might be from a game but that doesn't mean she's savvy about game genres and what they usually entail!!]

That doesn't change what I did. I... I couldn't do anything to stop myself. I wasn't even aware of what I did until I came to my senses days after we returned. If I can't even be myself, then... Then what's the point?! [Of trying, of attempting, of doing anything really. More than anything she wants to be herself, to make her own choices and decisions without anything else stopping her. If her own will can be stripped away so easily, then what has she been trying to learn this whole time?

tl;dr wow GUESS WHO SURE GOT HIT IN A SORE SPOT]

Edited (LAST FUCKING THING I SWEAR) 2014-04-21 08:27 (UTC)

The point is that he was trying to break you. [ And it's clear that Kite definitely succeeded at that, judging from how she's just... breaking down in front of him. Damn, he's never that good with re-assuring words, but... ]

I know it's hard, being controlled like that, but are you really giving up after all this time?

[ But how does he know? He's never been controlled by someone else before. He's always been his own, from the beginning till now. Even when he cooperated with the Knights, it had been by necessity and a deal, and Heathcliff, as much as he hated him, never manipulated him like that either.

Where did the girl that set fire to Kite go? Was it just a front? Or was she as real as the girl that's currently breaking down on him? In any case, all he can do now is... well, be some sort of moral support, he guessed. ]

Edited 2014-04-22 08:48 (UTC)

["But are you really giving up after all this time?" It's as if something clicks into place once she hears those words, and she freezes on the spot as they repeat in her mind. Giving up... Wasn't that the reason she resisted then, attacked Kite the way she did? Because to give up and let everything happen would be the biggest insult to herself, to everything she'd learned and realized on her journey?

Then, wasn't that the exact thing she was doing right now, only worse? Kirito might not know what it's like to be controlled, to see your body move against your own will, but that doesn't take away from the truth of what he said. Like this, she's giving up.

And that's one thing she refuses to do.]

... Of course not. [Her words come after a lengthy pause, but there's a bit of a spark to them. Maybe not the same kind of open and fierce spirit that she had before, but it could be, given enough time. He might not be able to see it, but she wipes away at her eyes. She's had enough of crying now.] No matter what... I can't give up. I won't give up.

[ ...Heh, it's definitely not near to the recklessness she showed when she set Kite on fire that time, but he can tell that she's at least not giving up just yet. That's good, even if you're beaten down to the point of breaking, as long as you keep standing up, victory is definitely assured.

Then again, Kirito did experience that once. Killing someone when he had been all but alive in that fateful fight against the «Final Boss» of the world called Aincrad. It's only his willpower that enabled him to defy what's supposed to be fatal for him and surviving that death game. And well.

He knows she'll make it. She has the makings of a strong heroine from those games he's played. It's also stupid to assume this just because he knows most of these guys are probably part of different stories that might just be published works in other worlds too.

Wow, fourth wall can be a pain in the ass even if you don't know the characters in question.

Still, his smirk stayed as he thought all that. ]

Good, that's the spirit.

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voice; after he's visible again.

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